Here I go again. Another night of me pathetically crying in a dark room. Why can't I be good enough? I'm fucking worthless. I want to be thin, beautiful and smart. Witty, funny and cute. I want to be happy. I can't.

I can't be any of that. I don't go to school, I can't afford it. I'm awkward and ugly. I can't lose weight. No matter how hard or how much I work out the fucking scale number is the same!!! I'm shit. I'm completely worthless. It's no wonder Carl wants nothing to do with me.

He never wants to spend time with me. I get it. I'm not worth the time. His games, computer and friends are. God, I'm so pathetic. He deserves better. I don't know why he hasn't cut all ties with me yet.