A head full of chaos simply searching for peace and beauty

Friday, August 24, 2012

I must be going insane

I work, I read, I watch movies. I cry, I cut, I starve. My life has been reduced to numbers. Calories, the scale, stats. I lie, fake everything.

See me eat? Look at this dirty, empty plate.

It's all fucking pretend. And am I getting thinner? No. The scale refuses to go down. It's been weeks and I'm a fucking failure.

I'm sick. I'm waiting to be approved for a house that I intend to live in with my boyfriend and I can't even be fully honest with him. If I am, it's all over. I need him. I can't be without him.

So the game continues.
I can't quit.

No comments:

Post a Comment