I drank, got drunk enough to actually try having sex with the boyfriend and he rejected me. Said that I'm not myself when I'm drunk but seems to have no problem when he's drinking too. Of course it put me on a downward spiral.
I know I'm not good enough but to have that reinforced by the boyfriend's actions and words just makes it all the more harder to take in. I cut. And I hate myself. I want to cut more. I starved myself all day for him and still... I'm not good enough. I hate myself so much. I need to cut more. I deserve it. I want it. I'm so fucking pathetic.
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