I'm alone again. Carl is on his fucking computer again. I took a shower so no one would see me crying. I was so dibilitated by my emotions, I literally could not move. I just sat in the shower and sobbed. Finally, I was ready to get out. It took me forever to he able to open the door though. My shower is directly across from a mirror.
My reflection threw me into another fit of sobs and fucking self hatred. I can't win. I can't keep doing this! I don't want to be so damn unhappy. I'm fucking pathetic and needy. Why the fuck is he with me?
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